The 41 rules of Online Poker

1. Learn the game-rules: a King beats a Queen, pair loses to trips, all that shit.
2. Learn to not bluff, yep, bluffing is easy, not doing it all the time is the hard part
3. Reading players is overrated, don't be a sheriff, don't call to know you are beat
4. Know what you strength is, if you are a fuckin retarded maniac play like one! Fuck the money, be unpredictable, if you are a NIT be one, but don't pay off the maniacs.
   
5. Poker is not that cool, fancy moves don't get ya girls, solid play gets you dollars though. If you want to see fancy play rewarded do some Sport like MMA, Parkour, Skateboarding, Streetball, something where balls matter
6. Don't be intimitated by power, it's about technique.
7. Know the different types of players, build strategies against them.
8. Online-Poker is about money, not about fun, not about friends, responsible gaming is the key, if you can't hold to your money and need it to pay the bills, don't hesitate and shut yourself down.
9. Degenerates win. If you can sit in front of this game for hours, don't move your ass and have the ability to play 12-16 tables at once you are bound to make some serious cash. But sorry to say that, you are a degenerate gambler.
10. You are not Durr. Don't try to be like him. Be John Shmoe. Bill Simon. Whatever your name is, be yourself, you can't fake the funk.
11. Play like no money is involved, even though poker is all about the money. If you think about what you could by with all that money that you just lost it's time to quit.
12. Quit poker. Often. Don't stay at tables you can't beat.
    
13. There is no working at your game, either you know the basic rules and play your style and lose like a man, or poker is not for you. You will lose no matter how good you are. Poker is about luck, don't listen to people who tell you otherwise.
14. Ride your streaks. If you run hot, play a lot, if you play like crap and all your hands are dead quit. Quit often. Hold onto your hard earned money.
15. A college degree will probably get you a more interesting job. Hell, most jobs are more interesting than online poker.
16. If you can chose between reallife poker and online poker always go for the one where the most money is. Or simply enjoy your life and do something else.
17. Poker is a game most people love to hate.
18. Streaks are unavoidable, keep your losing streaks short.
19. Don't overanalyse your game. There is a right. There is a wrong. Learn from your wrongs, repeat the rights.
20. Every game is different, players evolve and you might lose to a donkey.
21. Fuck the etiquette, those guys are after your money.
22. Play like a man, don't whine like a sissy.
23. Some people are better, others are not, the more you can leave your emotions behind, the better you will get.
24. Scruples hurt.
25. Don't gamble without noticing it. Do it when you want to, don't do it to do others a favour.
26. Most people these days know the rules.
    
27. Beating online poker is hard, a lot of people try it.
28. There are more donkeys in live play, at least you can spot them easier at 1 table without stats.
29. Stats are overrated, always remember that there is Lady Luck, and she sure hell is a bitch.
30. You need to get lucky, you need a big bankroll, you have to know the odds, you have to leave your red blooded heart at home, you have to love the game, you have to love the game when it betrays you, kisses someone else and fucks behind your back.
    
31. Poker ain't chess.
32. Poker ain't Basketball, Football or whatever. It's no teamsport.
33. Poker schools want a part of your rake. They might want you to win, but after all they don't care.
34. Poker schools make money from you. They are doing nothing for free.
35. There are no real friends at a poker table, even though they might lend you money.
36. After all, poker pros make money through sponsoring, sponsoring, TV gigs, a bit of Poker and did I mention, sponsoring? They are pretty good at live play as well. Some even rock the online world. Or they write books. The time of easy games is over. People know the rules. You have to break them to really make money.
37. Do you really believe the hype?
38. Durr pwns them all. So does Phil Ivey, but have you seen it ivey do on TV? See luck for that reason.
39. More games are a lot harder to learn than hold'em, most of them need more skill. That's why there is even less money in the long run.
40. Live still pays the best, as there are more people who want to have fun playin against the best.
41. Running hot = Everything. Folding = the other half. Fishing the few newbs that are left = priceless. Getting a few players that tilt of their role = part of the game. Paying loads of rake against people of equal skill = The only thing that happens daily.