11 reasons why online poker sucks

You want to hear some whine? Well you won't get some, this is just for you, the one who is fed up with online poker, but still thinks he can beat it and can't quit. In case you are like every other Poker addict loser who sometimes gets on a winning spree, like myself :) I am a gambler, and that's how I play poker nowadays, if I want a job I will find something more interesting. Oh and just to make this clear, gambling and throwing away money are two pair of shoes. Throwing away money is playing online poker, roulette or craps. Gambling is playing live poker, where you watch the tells, analyze the player and go for it before you win for sure on turn or river. That's gambling. You don't fuckin know if you win or not, it's luck. The 1 outer will hit and you will get pissed. Maybe not now, but every now and then. Learn to live with it.

• you will lose money, you will always pay rake, you will always have bad run, you will win, you may play great, but overall online poker is... something one can do without.
  
• you will win money and lose it later on, ending up losing more when you are emotionally unstable
• you will neglect your social life
• you will think you can quit your fucked up day job and think that poker is something better... it's not...
  
• poker rooms want you to play poker... THEY MAKE FUCKIN MONEY WITH YOU
• people make money with it, not everyone can do that otherwise those guys wouldn't make money with it
• online poker gets fuckin boring, when you multi table it's only a challenge for your motoric movements, you turn your brain of and fall into a flow effect
  
• you aim for the flow effect, which will get you into trance. It's the first step to addiciton.
• you will probably get fat from all the sitting in front of the computer
  
• there are loads of good examples for people who make money with poker, the real winners sponsor those guys... think about that.
• the rake wins, someone has to make money in order to keep this running, that's your spot in case you are a poker loser.
  

online Poker sucks part II

Yeah online poker still sucks! Didn't expect that eh? :)

Freemoney is great, in case you want some just check out that link to poker strategy, but actually it's probably not worth to waste your time with online Poker, unless you have a pretty boring accountant mentality and end up getting a rush at numbers, bits and bytes. Even though the adrenaline is pretty high once you get to high limit tables.

Me, Myself and I had a rough time due to poker and the time I spend with it, probably as many of the guys who are too emotional to really be good at poker. I have sick reads sometimes and then I am off like no good, or my opponent just hits his miracle card and I can't fold even though I know I am beat, tilting off money. Play like a real pro, not like one of those wannabe pokertracker pro's who are number guys.

I play live Poker every now and then, but that's about it, and even that is getting dull. The breaks between each session just get longer and longer.

Whenever I get a new free deposit into one of my accounts I just try to run it up a bit, but I usually end up broke again, which is ok, as I can't control my play. Far too emotional. The good part is, I have plenty of other stuff to do, that's far more fun that Poker, somehow I just lack the spirit for the game. Maybe I will find it again after some breaks. This internet generation plays so many hands, most of the online players have, even if they suck as much as I do, as many hands as a mediocre pro played in 25 years of casino play. 25 years in 2 years, doesn't sound too healthy from my point of view.

The flow effect is just one nasty psycho trait one could do without, at least sometimes.

online poker? sucks

How do you keep motivated playing online Poker?
I finally found my leak, it's an expensive leak, but I can't find a plumber to fix it. I am just utterly bored by online Poker and I still have done it far too often. Big pots give an adrenaline rush, but to be honest, the game itself is one of the most boring passtimes you can have online. I don't know where my fire is that I had the first time I hit a table.
Nowadays I am just so easily bored that I fall into fancy play syndrome after 20 hands. Life Poker is still great fun and I can spend nights at the tables and enjoy the games. I can even watch poker, but why do we all waste so much time at some stupid online tables when there is so much more fun to do? I'm an addict, that's my excuse, and I suck online, that's what makes everything worse. Why do you play? What do you like about a game with 52 cards, no graphical pleasure and without all the things that make offline Poker so great. Yeah how much can you read someone with his vpip and his betsizes? It's math. Go back to school nerd in case you love that.
Enough of those rants and raves, I should get back to the drawing board and create new, and most important better cartoons :)

The top 50 reasons why you lose at Poker

Sometimes we all wonder why we lose at Poker. This is not a complete list, but could give you a general idea of what some people are facing when they sit at a Poker table and lose their money. Think about what you do wrong and try to eliminate your flaws.

1. Tilt
2. Play when you are tired
3. love your hands too much
4. play your lucky cards against better knowledge
5. try to gamble
6. take sidebets
7. play above your comfort zone
8. play too many hands
9. take it personal when you win or lose against someone
10. you try to break even when you are down
11. play too long sessions
12. not considering potsize, odds or outs
13. chasing big pots with marginal draws
14. playing in the wrong game
15. trying to apply something your read but don't understand
16. listening to the wrong advice by the wrong people
17. complaining about bad beats
18. playing the wrong type of game, for example holdem instead of omaha
19. playing the wrong style against the wrong players
20. not playing tight aggressive on low limits
21. letting your emotions take control
22. not listening to your instincs
23. playing too many tables online without being able to handle them
24. not moving down limits when your bankroll took a dent and you are below your comfort zone
25. you have relationship issues that influence your play
26. playing against women and trying to impress them
27. playing in front of women and trying to be a mac daddy and impress them
28. giving free cards at the wrong time
29. playing the player and not the cards at low limits, people are unpredictable manics not caring about the few cents they lose
30. playing the cards and not the player at high limits, people who have imagination and knowledge usually don't go allin on a top pair...
31. not being able to shift gears and adapt to new situations
32. giving Poker a too big part in your life
33. playing too tight
34. playing too loose
35. Bluff too much, especially online
36. play when you are angry
37. play with someones elses money that could pay your mortage
38. play in games where you are not comfortable
39. you are cheated on or people team up against you without you recognizing it
40. you pay too much rake
41. you do not have rakeback or something similar when you play online
42. you do not take advantage of a Bonus offer that would increase your hourly winnings by a small margin
43. you overrate your skills and think you could beat everyone
44. you are easily read by others
45. you play predictable and don't take chances
46. you play with scared money
47. you believe Poker is a skill only game and everything evens out in the long run
48. you can't take to lose against a 1 outer on the river being allin on the turn
49. you don't have a life besides the Poker tables
50. you play against me ;)

Poker Cartoon weblog

hey there, I just felt like creating something new and decided to scan some of my drawing and mess around with the colors. So I will constantly upload new Poker Cartoon Strips at my new blog. I'd really love to hear how you like it. So just hop over and visit it.

beat online sit and go

Online Poker Sit and Go's can be pretty profitable. Sit and Go's are a profitable way to start out and earn a few bucks. You have a set amount you can lose and therefor are save not to go on tilt for a complete stack, or to reload more money and lose that as well. The important part with sit and go's however is to learn the basics. And to keep a strict bankroll management.

Your first 50$
Starting out with 50$ is a good measure, probably you ask yourself why 50$? Easy, you can get free 50$ over at pokerstrategy and start to play at Titan Poker or Partypoker. In case you are going for sit and go's, pick the Titan Poker site. Party Poker becomes profitable when you are able to hit the 10+1$ sit and go’s, unless you have a bankroll of at least 50 buyins for those it’s not good to hit that site.

You read it, 50 buyins should be the bankroll you are aiming at. That means you are starting out at the 1$ sit and go’s. 10 seater that is. Play premium cards in the level 1-3 Ace King suited, JJ and above, limp with small pocket pairs and hope to hit a set. Get aggressive once the blinds hit 100 chips when you are in position, aggression will lead to points.

Important rules of thumb:
Don’t bluff calling stations or maniacs.
Bet for value.
Bluff less than you actually want to.
Bet your good hands, don’t try to get tricky.

Test the waters yourself. Play tight, experiment. The early levels are easy to beat and you don’t need a lot of knowledge besides playing tight. Check out the tools at the bottom to get your play to the next level once you feel comfortable at the tables.
Pokerstrategy offers you some things that will be later for your later career, I could promote some shady affiliate sites, but pokerstrategy is a great deal. 50$ + 100$ for free and Poker education with a great community.

Tools for a good start into the sit and go lifestyle:
The SitNGo Wizard is a tool that will help you to analyze your play and make better decisions that may lead up to more placements in the money.

Poker Stove is a free tool to check up the equity of your hand compared to the hand of your opponents. It’s a great way to find out if you made the right bets, had the right odds to call, or just to find out if you made the right decision to stay in the pot at all.

how to sustain your bankroll

bankroll management = winning at poker

you can be the best player in the world, without bankroll management you will lose. You want to play and win? It's not as sophisticated as everyone wants to tell you. Read a poker book and get the odds and outs clear. Join a poker school, a great one is pokerstrategy, they even give you free poker money, and get your poker mind started. Then forget it all besides bankroll management. Don't play stupid, that's all you have to do. Don't chase draws like a gutshot. Be aggressive. Learn to stay away from the game and learn to find the right games. What games are you good at, play those, quit the others. It's online poker, you don't have to play no limit, fixed limit or holdem. You can play omaha, stud, razz, horse, tournaments, cashgame, just play the games you beat. That's all what it takes to be good at poker. Play smart, play the right games and stay within your bankroll. When you stay within it magic can happen. It's not given that it will, but magic may happen. Quit the whining, quit the losing, start playing.
Start winning at poker today.
bankroll rules of thumb
sit and go's other than headsup 50 buyins
sit and go's headsup 30 buyins
NL CASH at least 40 buyins, you can't be too conservative here.
Tournaments, 100 buyins
and after all, the most important part, just play with money you can afford to lose. Otherwise it's scared money and won't be any good. You don't HAVE to succeed at poker to be happy or a good player, you have to WANT to succeed at poker to have any chance at all.

headsup sit and go bankroll management

Playing heads up sit and go's can be one of the most paying forms of poker you can play. Most players sitting at those tables are just bad, they could not fold top pair no matter what and may push any ace x preflop on blindlevel 3. That's the fun part. When you know how to play the game, it's more or less easy to beat. There is only one problem you may face when climbing the ladders of heads up poker, it's bankroll management. How many buy ins should you have? What kind of downswing can be expected? How do you manage tilt and losing sessions?

Bankroll management keys

1. keep a minimum of 20 buyins for the level you play at, it's better to have 30. During heads up sit and go's a lot less luck is involved. You face a single opponent and unless you suck at poker or have to push marginal hands all the time, you should be able to beat the games fairly easy up to 50$. When you sharkscope heads up players you find plenty of guys running pretty bad so to say.
2. Don't move up on limits to fast. This is one of the mistakes people usually make, "oh I have 5 buyins for that limit, let's take a shot." You lose that and move on to the next higher limit giving yourself 1 buyin. You lose that and my bankroll is gone again. Well it should not be like that, but you get the picture. Just stick to a roll where you can take at least 10 losses and still feel comfortable.
3. Move up when you can. I'd say move up once you hit 30 buyins for the next level. Conservative players can go for 40, gamblers for 20. Poker is about taking shots at the higher levels without losing your bankroll. The higher you go the more sophisticated or stupid players get. People with money will gamble, not as bad as in a casino, but still they are there. And headsup poker attracts them.

What kind of downsings can you expect?
That's pretty much depending on your skill level. Poker is luck, headsup is luck, but overall I have recognized that headsup poker is less about luck than other forms of poker. Usually it's easier to get a read, put the other on a hand and get your money in good. You can't expect more. There will be suckouts, there will be losses, but on the long run, headsup sit and go's are beatable in my eyes.

Tilt and losing sessions
How to avoid them is one of the key lessons every poker player has to learn. Nobody is the same and it's hard to give advice. Usually it's good to quit when you are losing. Just call it a day. It's tough online, you can always find a running game, but you have to learn it. Some players can take losses like they don't matter, others go on tilt. Emotional players have problems, but will make ballsy calls and plays that the others players would not make. It's a fine line, and probably, in no limit a human with emotions going with his reads may beat a computer playing his cards.

stagnating bankroll, in other words 0$

The last few months, or rather the last year has been kind of a strain. I know what I am doing wrong, but somehow I can't see to find a fix for my mistakes. I put some money in, took some money out, overall I probably lost a little probably over the last months.
Right now I am on Poker break. It's time to re-evaluate my game, get another job and finish some exams. Busy life!

The next few posts will deal with fixing mistakes that will cost you money. I am not talking about losing streaks or something like that. It's about the game of life, right decisions at the right times. Bankroll management is the key to winning or losing, just like a fullfilled life is taking the rights steps in the right direction and finding yourself. You can't float around and think of one thing and neglect the other.

It does not matter how great you play, sometimes you will lose. Luck factor. My biggest mistake is grinding it up and then losing it all playing limits I can't afford to lose at without losing my complete roll. It's been like that for quite some time. I just lose my temper and get into the, what some people call, fancy play syndrome. Winning and winning, beating others up like no good and then, when it counts, when bankroll management would be a great ability, it's time to give all the winnings and more back to others.

last day of klopzis contest

Klopzi is still running his contest over at his blog, and you did not join his great contest yet? Do it now!!!

Klopzi's Mediocre Poker runs that contest and you can win 3 full retail copies of poker academy prospector. All you gotta do ist post about the contest and write a few sentences about it !

This software seems to be a great tool to analyze your poker playing through hand histories. Probably a little similar to poker tracker. I love free stuff and don't own a copy of this probably great product yet. So COUNT ME IN A SECOND TIME!!!

Klopzis blog is just great in the way he talks about his poker journey and about what he has been achieving so far. Starting with freerolls going over to the real money tables and being a winner at NL200 now. It's amazing and tells us one thing, we can achieve it when we work and study hard and don't give up! Even long breaks can't keep us away from the tables.

is blogging a sales pitch?

Anyone notice this? Probably Poker blogs have a certain amount of advertisement in them by the nature of the game. I really wonder if anyone who runs a blog ever made a dime out of all the advertisments they offer. This blog hasn't, but actually it has not been the intention to do so, which is pretty unintentional. I would like to earn a few extra bucks here and there, so what's the matter, how do all those Poker bloggers who earn cash with it do that? I mean besides winning at Poker. Anyone got a clue?

don't whine

There are stories to be told and other to be forgot. I suck. Noone to blame but myself and stupid people in different timezones. I should love them, but I hate to take beats. 5 Time sucker kicker sucks me out and I am beat down and ugly. It's increadible. Should have called it a day.

great and fluffy contest

Hi folks, I just wanted to mention that Klopzi is running a great contest over at his blog Klopzi's Mediocre Poker where you can win 3 full retail copies of poker academy prospector.

This software seems to be a great tool to analyze your poker playing through hand histories. Probably a little similar to poker tracker. I love free stuff and don't own a copy of this probably great product yet. So COUNT ME IN.

To join this contest is very easy. In case you own a blog just create a post about his contest and post the link to it in the contest post over at Klopzi's Blog.
So what are you waiting for? Pay him a visit and take part in this linkbait... Those program comes in at 59$ when you buy it regularly and it's sad that noone took part yet! Hurry you still have all chances in the world to win this random skill contest!

It's been a hell of a month so far. Up, down, but overall not much poker at all. I suffer from what could be called bad bankroll management. I just don't get the title of this blog. Play great, play bad, lose the winnings. Story of my life.

Wohhhhohoooo

I can still get happy about a straight flush :) single tabling or max dual tabling increases the poker fun tremendously!
spades, j9s
flop comes kq10s and the other guy bets into me :) lovely. Had to bet the turn and he did not have a k or q, even the board paired twice... Damn this...

another day another crapshootout

Today I played another one of those tournaments and took 2. place, lost a 60/40 for 98% of my chips. "hit happens.
I seem to be curising along quite well at the moment. Let's hope that it stays like that.

never give up

Important thing to do when you are headsup: never give up!
I ended up headsup in a tournament today, went down to a 1:4 chip standing, went on to take the lead with good play and reads and ended up winning it. You have to get lucky in such a spot, but when you get one chance you have to use it and punish your opponent for his mistakes. You can be friends, but in a tournament first place just pays so much better... to quote to good old drug addict stu:

Show me a good loser and I show you a loser.

Ok, enough of the show for today.

going crazy with 2 posts a day

Today is a fun day, so I thought I share some fun with you my dear readers.
Enjoy :)

crazy bankroll $Ki11z

I got none of the above mentioned.

Still I ain't broke mate, which is a wonder so to say. Admitedly I have the most fun playing poker in a long time, and I only play like 1 or 2 games and then quit. HU poker is piece a cake, say whaaat? Most people are just plain bad, not to say they are s"ck3r$, but so am I. My wasted mind plays tricks on me in case I think I am good.
My other projects are running great and poker has taken the place that the limits I play should be... a hobby, not a fulltime commitment to win money just to spill it out on tilt a few hours later. Sometimes we try to hard eh?

rockability trailer

wow this will hopefully be better than the freakin day after tomorrow, which was one of the most boring movies I ever watched. Anyways 10.000 BC looks promising

happy new year

Title says it all. Have fun with what you do!